Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented
Elie Wiesel
Upstanders everywhere may have shuddered in response to Kanye West’s latest antisemitic outrage when he started promoting tee-shirts emblazed with a swastika. And it was heartbreaking to read a post from my daughter wondering whether she had made her child’s life more difficult by giving her a Jewish-sounding name. Heart-breaking it certainly was, but the answer is a very resounding “No. You didn’t.”
I immediately connected what she asked to the many conversations parents of color report having had with their young sons, a conversation identified in the African American community as “the talk.” Going back in time, think of the Italian or Irish immigrants experiencing racism at the hands of more established immigrant groups. (It is a truism that the oppressed almost always blame the more recent arrivals as threatening their jobs. This kind of talk benefits no one as much as it benefits the status quo, i.e. those with power). My point is that throughout history, parents have worried over the safety of their children and have wondered in what way(s) they could protect them from the dangerous ignorance of the haters. This is certainly the case for Jewish parents, given the long-standing, ever-evolving phenomenon of antisemitism.
Growing up in England, I was intimately acquainted with the advantages of shedding an overtly Jewish-sounding name for something more “acceptably" mainstream. My father experienced considerable success in the army, despite what his superiors saw as his burdensome Jewish identification. He was advised to “change your name” in order to be promoted even more rapidly than he had been hitherto; were it not for the fact that he hated war, he might have done so. But he enlisted to fight Hitler and having defeated him, gladly returned to civilian life. Reading this, you see an argument for changing your name; but I argue that “blending in” is not the answer. The price, both personally and societally, is too high.
First, personally. Let us suppose Jewish parents choose ethically “neutral” names for their children, “America” or “Sunbeam,” on the grounds that no one in the outside world will immediately identify the child as Jewish. How far do we take this? No Hebrew school? No bar or bat mitzvah? No prompt burial of loved ones? No Passover? Instead, what? The child goes to church? The child follows no religious or cultural practices? The child never mentions her very observant uncle or those cousins in Haifa she loves to visit? It’s called assimilation and outside the ultra-Orthodox community, we all do it to a certain extent, being both Jewish AND American. Who doesn’t love the Fourth of July? Or a good marching band? Or Labor Day barbeques? But taken to its conclusion, you lose your roots. It’s a very steep price to pay for the chance to blend in. And frankly, it doesn’t work.
In the 1930s, assimilated Jews in Germany, even those who had converted and identified as Christian and German, were nevertheless “branded” as Jews because their ancestors were Jewish which gave them Jewish blood- which in Nazi ideology meant they were the enemy.* There is no foolproof way to protect our children from hatred-except in the way my daughter suggested, which is to speak out against it in community with others.
Long before Taylor Swift told us that “haters gonna hate,” Elie Wiesel very forcefully announced that failing to take a stand against hatred benefits no one besides the tormentor. Silence allows hatred to flourish. Much as I like the tune, I don’t agree that we can “shake off” hatred. We must stand together as decent human beings and oppose it-loudly. Despite superstars touting merchandise and loud- mouths everywhere spewing hatred, I refuse to accept that most people are bigots, although not everyone is brave. It takes all of us speaking out against bigotry and prejudice-wherever we find it- to defeat the haters. So, I celebrate our granddaughter’s Jewish name, knowing she will be raised to be strong and proudly authentic. Fear and silence benefit only the oppressor and the ignorant, no matter how many tee shirts they sell.
*I won't go into the thoroughly discredited notion that race is a biological and not a sociological condition (99.9% of us share the same dna) nor into the even more obscene contortions of Nazi ideology that sought to define Jewishness according to how many grandparents were Jews. Once they moved onto "Mischling" or as they put it, "half Jews," their hateful and nonsensical categories really fell apart. Suffice it to say that they listed all Jewish families throughout Europe, whether under occupation or not, and planned to murder us all.
wo[1] I won’t go into the thoroughly discredited notion that race is a biological and not a socio1.logical condition and that humans are 99.9% the same accordingly to current scientific thinking. I won’t go into the even more obscene contortions of Nazi ideology that tried to prove Jewishness according to how many grandparents were Jewish. The categorization quickly crumbled in the case of ‘Mischling’ or “half Jews.” Suffice it to say that fundamentally they hated all of us and planned to eliminate, that is murder, us all.n’t go into the thoroughly discredited notion that race is a biological and not a sociological condition and that humans are 99.9% the same accordingly to current scientific thinking. I won’t go into the even more obscene contortions of Nazi ideology that tried to prove Jewishness according to how many grandparents were Jewish. The categorization quickly crumbled in the case of ‘Mischling’ or “half Jews.” Suffice it to say that fundamentally they hated all of us and planned to eliminate, that is murder, us all.
[1] I won’t go into the thoroughly discredited notion that race is a biological and not a sociological condition and that humans are 99.9% the same accordingly to current scientific thinking. I won’t go into the even more obscene contortions of Nazi ideology that tried to prove Jewishness according to how many grandparents were Jewish. The categorization quickly crumbled in the case of ‘Mischling’ or “half Jews.” Suffice it to say that fundamentally they hated all of us and planned to eliminate, that is murder, us all.
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